Dec
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12/10/2008 9:09 AM
Ron,
I wanted to send you a testimony of what happened at your meeting last Friday night 02/08/08. First of all let me say to you I wasn’t even suppose to be there. I had gotten one hour sleep in 2 days and my ride wasn’t planning on going either. At 4:17 pm I hunker down in bed with the remote and sleeping pills lined up in case I couldn’t sleep. I had just pulled the covers up to my ears when the Lord said, “You need to get up and take a shower so you can be here when your ride gets here to go to Ron’s” I thought to myself, “I didn’t hear that, I didn’t hear that” I laid there a little bit and I heard, “You REALLY need to get up, take your shower get ready, so you be ready to go to Ron’s” I said, “Well my ride says she’s not going”. He said, “You let me deal with your ride you get ready.” Even the getting ready was an ordeal. I picked out clothes and started to put them on and the Lord said, “Don’t wear those you’ll be too hot at Ron’s.” Now Lord, I said, these are the best clothes I have.” “Don’t wear those you’ll be too hot” is all the said. So I said “Lord I am never too hot at Ron’s its chilly I don’t want to take a chance at having muscle spasms because I get cold.” He said, as calmly and relaxed as the first time, “Don’t wear those you’ll be to hot at Ron’s.” So I threw them down and said, “So just what should I wear?” He told me, jeans and a shirt.
Then I went to get my “Sunday Tennis Shoes”, and He said “I want you to wear the holy ones.” Well I just exploded, NOOOOOOOOOOO LORD!!! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING!!!! He said, “I want you to wear the holy ones.” But Lord what if someone sees, I don’t want to embarrass Ron or anything. He said, “I want you to wear the holy ones” Then I said, “OK but I am telling You this if anyone makes fun of me like they have in the past for wearing holy shoes to a prayer meeting, I will not talk to You for a real long time. I am not, Lord, going through this again.” All He said was, “I need you to wear the holy ones Angela.” I relented, but tears ran down my face as I put them on, and I said “I promise, I promise God.” When I got to your house I sat down in some kind of chair that rocked and my only thought was “GOD DON”T LET ANYONE SEE THE BOTTOM OF MY SHOES.”
All I can is that God is faithful and His idea’s are much better then my own. At your meeting the Lord spoke to me and said, “You have had CP long enough, it can be over now. Well I instantly got real quiet. I wanted to make sure this was God. Now to you Ron that might sound funny because it has to be God right? However, in my Christian walk I have seen and even been a part of the Circus Sideshow that can take place in a service. I have been “kicked out” of prayer lines because I had a different need then to be healed of Cerebral Palsy and “How dare I have a different need.” I have been told one to many times, “Well if you don’t get healed after hearing this message you don’t deserve to be.” One day I said, ENOUGH!!! I love You Jesus, but I will not do this again. No more side shows!!! NO more prayer lines for ANYTHING!!! and not more deserve be’s because I cannot be good enough. I have tried. So as I stood there quietly, I heard it again, “You have had CP long enough, it can be over now, you have kept it long enough.” So I said, “What if I do keep it and its not over?” He said, “I will still love you and there will be another day.”
He will still love me, He will still love me, He will still love me ring in my heart like a drum beat, every Circus Sideshow, every humiliating prayer line kick out, every “you don’t deserve to be” of my life ran through my head at lighting speed. Still it rang, He will still love me, He will still love me, He will still love me. Then above the ringing I heard, no more unsteadiness, BALANCE, no more peeing everywhere, BLADDER CONTROL, no more weakness, WALKING, HIGH HEELS, MAKE MY OWN BED, CLEAN MY OWN HOUSE, A CAR, FREEDOM, TO WALK MY DOGS FOR MORE THEN JUST A MINUTE. It was as if all the negative things were dropping out of my heart like big black tears made of oil and these other things were replacing them. I will still love you and there will be another day. I was scared out of my mind but I didn’t need another day. If He would still love me then why make Him wait for another chance.
So You prayed for me and others did too, I remember you asking me what I felt and the honest truth is other then lighter I only felt the presence of God that I had felt all night long. No big flash in the pan. At your urging I stood up to walk because, “You need to do something you haven’t done“. My mind raced real quick to see if I could pick something besides standing up and walking but there wasn’t. So I stood up and thought, “Oh God this is where I fall down right in front of everyone AGAIN” but as you know I didn’t. We walked a bit and I realized that I was barely touching your hand and I was walking. I felt lighter, like someone had let my body out of a clay mold. I walked some more and someone said “Hey Ya’ll look she ain’t dragging her feet” I never even knew that anyone noticed, but it was true. I said causally, “Oh yeah my leg didn’t used to work below my knee at all so I just sorta dragged them. I used to make holes in my shoes all the time.” Someone else said, “That would be something to see, those shoes.” I said, “Oh my I have them on see these are the shoes” Someone else wanted to take a picture of my Holy shoes for “proof” I felt like I wanted to cry now I understood why He needed me to wear those shoes.
Even with all that Ron God was not done, I felt compelled to stand up again. I stood there for a second or two and I felt this moving in my hip and my back. Well I thought to myself “I’ll just stand here quietly I don’t want sensationalism, I am not even sure I am not imagining this”. A lady behind me said rather loudly, “Ron you gotta get this, her back is moving under her shirt like a baby moves under its momma’s skin and you can see it.” I thought “Well so much for my imagination. So everyone watched it and praised the Lord. There used to be a huge bowing in my back that instead of going side to side like most curvatures of the spine went up and down. To buy well fitting clothes was virtually impossible and to go to the Tailor was shameful because they’d say, “Stand up straight” and get angry because they could work with me. My back is now completely straight. Boy I cannot wait to buy some new clothes. I am taller now too.
I think a favorite thing for me personally that night was that my pain went away. I have always been in pain and I am 38 years old. There has never been one second of one day of my life that I didn’t have pain. That was one of the last things that I discovered that night. It took me a long time to figure out what “IT” was. Finally, I quietly asked the Lord, “What is this thing is there something else wrong with me now that my back is straight?” He laughed and softly said, “Angela this is life without pain.” To the Lord’s credit, I have been 6 days now without pain meds. NONE. No sleeping pills, no Advil, Tylenol, Tylox or Morphine. I am learning what its like to sleep without pain, or having a drug induced sleep. Nothing so much even as a baby Aspirin for pain.
I wanted to say as well, in a very truthful way. The Lord started something here. He did many great things that Friday night. He continues each day to do many more great things. He is restoring my body from the inside out. There are things He is still doing that I am not allowed to share yet. Some of this is yet to be walked out but it does not change the fact that I am healed. It doesn’t change the fact that Jesus paid for that 2000 years ago. The fact that I didn’t “feel a thing” when Ya’ll prayed for me, doesn’t change the fact that healing began to work in me and manifest itself. I am fully confident in a way that I have never been before that I am healed.
I want to personally thank you for the type of prayer meeting your running. I never once felt condemned because I didn’t just throw my crutches down and run around the block. I didn’t feel like it was a Circus Sideshow, or anything like that. There was no shame or condemnation for me at all…… I felt free to receive and loved by God’s people and I haven’t had that in a really long time.
Sincerely,
Angela H. Cook.
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